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Becky Balsano's avatar

This is such an important, honest and smart post. Burnout is a big thing. Burnout while grieving even bigger. I've also had to learn the hard way, time and time again to put myself first. It's no secret that you work hard. I'm taking your class this quarter, and just the time, energy and care that went into the Writing Habit Journal alone is massive and speaks to how much you give. I'm so sorry you are grieving. Keep healing.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thank you Becky, everyone in the class has been so understanding and so helpful, which feels really great. I'm so glad this is such a supportive group.

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Neroli Wesley's avatar

I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Sometimes I question whether I have the strength to get another cat after my ancient kitty passes away. I lost his companion a couple of years ago and the pain was intense. My heart physically hurt for days and even now, if I see her picture I struggle not to cry. I miss her. Grief alone, apart from all the changes going on in your life, would be enough to knock anyone over. Be kind to yourself. You're doing great.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks, Neroli. I really appreciate it. I personally think that animals bring so much to our lives, I know that I will inevitably get another dog one day. But I think it'll be a couple of years. I also believe that we need some space in between these relationships. It allows us to heal and find out who we are without our animal familiars. That way when we bring a new one into our lives, they aren't constantly being compared to something that they have just replaced.

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Tony Arias's avatar

I am so sorry about your dog. I don't own pets but I do pet / house sit and last month two of my clients were put down. For days, when I was alone, I'd weep at random times. My heart goes out to you.

I have a question from your post. For you to wake up at 5a, what time do you go to bed? I try to be an early bird but I've always been a night owl.

Sending you all the good / healing vibes.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Tony. It's hard, but I also know that it's part of life. I start getting ready for bed around 8:30, and this usually translates into actually falling asleep a little after 10. On a good night it might be earlier, and on a more social, busy night, it might be later. Full disclosure: If I have a late night out, I usually end up pushing the wake up time an hour or 2. My 5am habit is certainly not an absolute constant. I have realized just how important sleep is, especially after reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. Highly recommend.

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Dave Carter's avatar

Just now read your post, Audrey. Hugs to you. The situation sucks. But you are an exceptionally talented natural-born coach who will undoubtedly process what happened and come back wiser and be even more effective. The leaders I admire most are, at their core, humble humans for whom I would do anything to avoid disappointing. Heck, I'd even set aside my own burnout and grief to finish a feature-length screenplay! (So glad I stumbled across your posts and joined the SBC. Take it easier, hokay?) (P.S. your mix tape hurt my brain!)

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thank you I appreciate your kindness and energy and I’m sorry you don’t vibe with k flay 😝

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Kseniya Melnik's avatar

Thank you for such a personal post. My condolences.... When my 18 y o (three-legged) cat passed away a few years ago, the only thing that would alleviate the immediate pain a bit was rewatching the entire Downton Abbey series plus the movies. Incidentally, this also reminded me just how essential writers and filmmakers are!

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Audrey Knox's avatar

I escaped into watching Sinners in IMAX 70mm and now I can't stop listening to the soundtrack <3

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Tara Y's avatar

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dog, Audrey. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability around burnout in this post. Some good lessons for us all to take away.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Tara, I appreciate everyone's support here.

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Helen Adams's avatar

That's a very frank description of what's been happening to you lately Audrey. I always wondered how you managed to be so prolific with your output. Grace is such a beautiful word and a great conclusion to come to. Take care of yourself.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Helen, it took me being honest here to start hearing from everyone that they have been wondering how I do it lol

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Blaine Hogan's avatar

So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for showing up and when it hurts to help show us a way out.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Writing is how I process things, so it felt very natural to do this and I couldn't write about anything else.

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Nandini Bapat's avatar

I am so sorry, Audrey. ❤️ Much love to you and him.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thank you Nandini I appreciate it.

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Sarah Allen's avatar

Wow, what a generous and thoughtful post you've given us even in the midst of something so awful. Thank you. And I am so, so sorry about your pup. He was very lucky to have you.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Sarah, these writings also help me process.

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Elakkiya's avatar

Really sorry to hear about your dog, Audrey. Losing a loved one is awful. But glad to hear you’re prioritizing yourself. Hope the rest of your 2025 goes better.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Me too!!

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Frank's avatar

Brilliant. Thank you!

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Michael Graf's avatar

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. My condolences. They are family. I went through something similar a year ago and still miss our Willy The Wonder Dog and the loss of his energy and love in the house. I hope writing this column helped. Please know folks you've never met on the other end of it are sending you positive energy. Life is short. We're all in it together.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Michael, I appreciate it. I knew you all would understand.

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Lynelle's avatar

This post is a must read for anyone who is trying to balance their creative life with their "bill paying life". This August marks three years since my beloved cat passed away. The grief and its surprising ability to sneak up on you when least expected can be crippling. There are days where I still think I hear her in the apartment or feel her in bed next to me. 💔 One of the things that helped me cope with the loss was listening to Anderson Cooper's podcast about grief, "All There Is". Thank you for sharing. You continue to be an inspiration in this topsy-turvy business.

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Thanks Lynelle, yeah the silence in the routine is the hardest part.

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Wendy's avatar

I’m so sorry to hear about your dog - I’m a dog owner of a 13 year old shih tzu - I get it ❤️ Thank you for taking the time to write this - given everything. I hope things get better soon.

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Wendy's avatar

😭😭❤️❤️❤️

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Audrey Knox's avatar

Yeah like we know this will happen eventually but it is still sad when it does. Thank you.

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Aaron Clow's avatar

Just adding my condolences, Audrey. Any pet owner understands. Sorry that this bit has been so stressful for you. Hoping your revised schedule helps you find some space for joy to return.

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