How to find a mentor for your writing career
Your career needs advice, guidance, and advocacy from someone who is doing what you want to be doing. You know which writers you're a fan of, but how do you get them to take a vested interest in you?
The film and TV industry is hard right now.
There’s no way around it. Open staffing jobs are few and far between because Showrunners already know who they’re going to hire by the time their series is greenlit. A studio or network won’t even think about buying your script or pitch unless you have an Upper Level Writer attached to supervise it.
In the past, I have talked about finding a mentor as an important career milestone.
But how do you go about actually finding a professional who is willing to guide you?
This can seem like a daunting task. There are thousands of writers who are eager to break in and are clamoring for advice. A successful professional film or TV writer who is currently working doesn’t have time to take everyone under their wing.
And the more famous and impressive someone is, the harder they’ll be to get to.
After spending almost a decade working with professional writers at all levels, I can tell you what I have seen work.
Ready to level up your skills, strategy, and network?
Here are 8 Steps to Follow to Find a Writer Mentor:
Step #1: Don’t rush it.
Never ever ever ask someone to be your mentor.
This entire process should be as sensitive and gradual as dating. Start with conversations. Move the relationship to regular interactions. Eventually, the person will consider you an important part of their life and someone that they care about. It’s possible neither of you will know when exactly this happened.
You wouldn’t ask someone to marry you the first time you met them, would you?
Don’t try to move that quickly in a professional relationship either.
Step #2: Put yourself out there.
Whether you live in Los Angeles or somewhere else entirely, you should regularly put yourself in situations that could potentially lead to meeting someone important.
This means accepting party invites on weekends that you’re tired. Going to networking mixers that might sound cringe. Finding a way to get to conferences, writers retreats, or film festivals.
But don’t just look to make connections with the most important person in the room.
You should also be networking “out.”
This means forming supportive relationships with writers at your own current level. These will inevitably, eventually lead to lucrative, organic introductions to Upper Level creatives down the line.
You’re playing the long game here, remember?
Networking online is certainly an option, but you aren’t going to make nearly as much progress on social media as you will when you actually leave your house.
Step #3: Be supportive.
As a writer, you understand firsthand that positive support goes a long way.
If you want someone to be your mentor, first think about how you can show up for them. At the very least, you should be watching their show, buying and reading their latest book, and following them on social media for their public insights. But how can you go above and beyond? Can you write to them to tell them how much a recent episode meant to you? Can you attend their stand up show or other live event?
Unless they specifically ask for it, this part doesn’t need to involve constructive criticism. Think about showing up for this person the way you would unconditionally support a friend or family member.
Step #4: Provide value.
Industry professionals are always busy.
We have our daily personal, professional, and family obligations. We have the creative tasks that pay the bills and the passion projects that we’re focusing on just for us. We have other mentees, friends, and mentors who need our support. So please do not reach out to someone and ask to meet them for coffee so you can pick their brain. Even if we’re interested in helping a stranger, we don’t have time.
Instead, carefully consider what you have to offer and what that person is putting out into the world:
Is there an area of research or experience that could be valuable to them?
A connection that would help them with something they’re trying to do?
A unique skillset or resource that can benefit them?
Can you spend time teaching them a tool that would make their work easier?
Or are you simply willing to give them your time in the form of volunteer labor?
None of these have to be directly related to writing.
But once you open up the lines of communication and do something for them, the conversations about your writing and your career can happen will happen later.
Step #5: Ask one specific question.
Because your desired mentor is so busy, it’s important to be conscious of their time.
Whether you’re reaching out via cold email or talking to someone after establishing a relationship, go into the conversation with a specific ask. You have researched them carefully, and you know all the basic advice. You have studied your craft in depth, so you are not going to ask a question whose answer you can find elsewhere.
But if you have a specific problem that needs to be solved or area that you are struggling with, this is something you should bring up to your mentor.
Something that no one else is qualified to help you out with.
This gives them a sense of where you are in your career and in the journey of your craft.
And it gives them a hint as to the kinds of conversations they can expect to have with you if they continue down this road of building a professional relationship.
Make these conversations interesting, and they will come back for more.
Step #6: Actually take their advice.
Once that person gives you advice, you need to go out there and follow it.
If they advise you to reach out to someone, reach out to that person. If they make an introduction, be sure to follow through and actually talk to that person. If they are generous enough to offer you script notes, take the time to thoughtfully incorporate those notes into your next draft.
No one wants to give guidance to someone who won’t take advantage of it.
When you report back to someone having done the thing they asked you to do, they will experience the gratification that comes from having your wisdom benefit someone else.
And they will be more likely to do it again with the next question you have.
Step #7: Be intentional about your big asks.
No one has an unlimited amount of favors to give.
We will start to feel used if someone is continuously asking us to go out on a limb for them. As such, understand that you only have 1-3 really big asks in the lifetime of your entire relationship. A mentor will put themselves and their reputation out on the line for you. But they won’t do this over and over, especially if those risks never end up panning out for them.
Big asks include things like:
Reading your script and providing feedback.
Hiring you.
Writing you a recommendation for someone else to hire you.
Recommending you to an agent or manager.
Attaching to a project as a supervisor.
Attending and promoting a performance or showcase of yours.
Make sure that you are timing these asks perfectly.
Only ask your mentor for something when you know that you are ready to fully take advantage of the opportunity that their favor provides you.
Step #8: Express gratitude.
In every conversation and after any advice or feedback, always say thank you.
People want to spend time talking to people who make them feel good. Genuine flattery will get you everywhere, but it’s also important to acknowledge that you understand how busy someone is and how valuable their time is. The fact that they have taken some of this precious time to help you with your goals should not go unnoticed, and you should tell them as much.
This should be expressed verbally in your conversation and followed up with a more formal thank you note (either emailed or handwritten, depending on your style, preference, and the type of relationship that you have).
Also, don’t forget to take a minute to be proud of yourself! That someone this important was willing to take time out of their career to focus on you shows that they see something in you. There is potential here.
Your mentor can tell that the world will benefit from your success.
When you get discouraged about the progress in your career, think about the people who have, at any given time, championed you.
All your mentors are on your side because you have something worth championing.
Step #9: If all else fails, find a one-way mentor.
Because this can be such a gradual process, you migh find it difficult to get a mentor right away.
Maybe your creative needs are so specific that only a few people could really feasibly help you and they won’t get back to you. Maybe you live far from the industry and are finding it difficult to network your way to a helpful mentor. Maybe you have an unpleasant personality and people respond by pulling away (a conversation for another day!) While you work on progressing in these areas, you can simply find a mentor and let them guide you without actually talking to them.
Watch and read all of their work. Find every single interview they have ever done. Research them so intently that you know what their advice would be in any situation.
Then when you’re struggling with something, imagine a conversation in which they are talking to you. Ask yourself what they would say. And act on that advice.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for individualized advice on your career and feedback on your script, you can book a one-on-one consultation with me.
Click the link below to book a time.